The VERY racy rules of Game of Thrones: With dwarves, daggers and Diana Rigg, the smash-hit TV epic is back... but do you know your Starks from your Baratheons?

PUBLISHED: 23:20, 30 March 2013 | UPDATED: 23:21, 30 March 2013

Heaving bosoms, bloody swordfights and sex scenes that would make Silvio Berlusconi blush, American TV epic Game Of Thrones is not for the weak-hearted.

Billed as a cross between Lord Of The Rings and The Sopranos with swords, the HBO show has gripped audiences on both sides of the Atlantic during its previous two seasons.

The first ever episode of the £40 million drama, filmed in Northern Ireland, Iceland, Croatia and Morocco, attracted Sky Atlantic’s largest audience to date.

Bad heir day: Jack Gleeson as Joffrey and Natalie Dormer as Margaery, conspire to cling on to the Iron Throne

Series two eclipsed Mad Men in the ratings and went on to become the most illegally downloaded programme ever internationally.

Tomorrow evening, the long-awaited third series, which features a mostly British cast, including Charles Dance, Lena Headey and now Diana Rigg, roars on to our screens at 9pm, just one day after it premieres in America.

But for those who can’t remember if they were rooting for the Starks or the Lannisters last season – or even doesn’t know who the Starks or the Lannisters are – The Mail on Sunday has compiled the ultimate Game Of Thrones guide.

Here we assess who’s still in the running for the Iron Throne, who’s slept with whom, who’s already met a sticky end and what we can expect in season three.

Game Of Thrones returns to Sky Atlantic HD from Monday, when series 1 and 2 will also be available on demand.

After the crown...

KING IN THE NARROW SEA: The battle to become king of kings comes after the death of King Robert. His son Joffrey (Jack Gleeson) takes over the Seven Kingdoms . . . but Robert’s brother Stannis Baratheon (Stephen Dillane) knows the claim is bogus, as Joffrey isn’t Robert’s real son after all – even without the benefit of a Jeremy Kyle-style DNA test. The short story is that he’s a bit miffed about how events turned out so decided to team up with the priestess Melisandre, who last season gave birth to a shadow monster. The birthing scene was one of the most difficult to create. Prosthetic artists created a fake belly for naked actress Carice van Houten, which was operated by pneumatics to simulate birth. Stannis was last seen licking his wounds following his defeat at the Battle of Blackwater, but he’s planning to re-group with Melisandre after she convinces him he will be king.

Covering up: Emilia Clarke as Queen Daenerys

Chances of winning the crown: 6/10

KING IN THE HIGHGANDEN: He was popular at court and looked seriously good in a crown made of antlers, but Renly Baratheon (Gethin Anthony), still couldn’t quite stay alive long enough to boot his nephew Joffrey from the throne. He had claimed the crown for himself following the death of his older brother Robert, making an enemy not only of both Joffrey and Stannis. Before the Battle of Blackwater, Melisandre’s shadow creature murders Renly, so . . . Chances of winning the crown: 0/10

KING IN THE NORTH: Robb Stark (Richard Madden) has been declared King in the North and is hell-bent on avenging his father Lord Eddard Stark’s death. The last time we saw him in season two he was doing quite well and had captured Jaime Lannister (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) to use as a bargaining tool. But he has betrayed an oath to marry a daughter of the House Frey by marrying Talisa Maegyr in secret. Chances of winning the crown: 4/10

QUEEN ACROSS THE SEA: Queen Daenerys’s husband Khal Drogo (Jason Momoa) kills her brother Prince Viserys (Harry Lloyd). Then she kills the killer – making her the only surviving member of the former royal family – and goes into exile. Actress Emilia Clarke spent much of the second

series in a state of undress but – to the dismay of her legion of male fans – has vowed not to go naked again. How regal . . . Chances of winning the crown: 7/10

Gruesome deaths...

BOARED TO DEATH: The death of the portly King Robert Baratheon (Mark Addy) is a lesson to us all about the dangers of hunting and drinking. His death, from wounds inflicted while trying to kill a boar, sparked the War of the Five Kings. A Facebook account in the name of The Boar That Killed Robert Baratheon has almost 2,000 likes.

GAME OF THRONES TRIVIA

Magister Illyrio’s sumptuous home is actually the summer residence of Malta’s president
The invented Dothraki language has more words for ‘kill’ than ‘love’
George RR Martin wrote to King Joffrey actor Jack Gleeson: ‘Marvellous performance – everyone hates you’
British actor Roy Dotrice did a record-breaking 224 voices in narrating the audio book of Martin’s work

LOSING YOUR HEAD: Lord Eddard Stark (Sean Bean) was asked to be an interim king by Robert, until Joffrey came of age. But the little brat had other ideas and had him beheaded in front of his daughter Sansa (Sophie Turner) and a baying crowd. His head was placed on a spike above the Traitor's Walk next to Septa Mordane, who looked suspiciously like George W. Bush wearing a wig. The prop was indeed made in the former president's image. 'It's not a political statement,' said executive producer David Benioff,'we just had to use what heads we had lying around!'

THE GOLDEN CROWN: Heir to the Targaryen dynasty, the narcissist Prince Viserys meets his maker when his brother-in-law Dothraki warlord Khal Drogo, pours molten gold over his head. The props department forged a gold-like substance while smoke machines, strapped to the actor's back and chest gave the impression the liquid was blisteringly hot.

The newcomers

DAME DIANA RIGG: A generation of men still get hot under the collar when they think of Diana Rigg as Emma Peel in that leather catsuit. Now the 74-year-old actress is set to raise eyebrows as the scheming Olenna Tyrell, or The Queen of Thorns. No one was more excited about her arrival on set than George RR Martin, who wrote the fantasy series Game Of Thrones is based on. In an interview, he said Rigg was the ‘hottest women on television or the world’ in her Avengers days. ‘I was madly in love with her along with virtually all the boys in my generation,’ he added.

Scheming: Dame Diana Rigg as Olenna Tyrell, or the Queen of Thorns

Scheming: Dame Diana Rigg as Olenna Tyrell, left, and Mackenzie Crook as Orell, right

CIARAN HINDS: The Irish film actor said he found the onslaught of sex and violence in Game Of Thrones annoying and ‘a little gratuitous’ at first, but that didn’t stop the 60-year-old signing up to the part of Mance Rayder or King-Beyond-The-Wall. As such, Hinds found himself on location in Iceland, trussed up in fur against a raging blizzard.

MACKENZIE CROOK: Mackenzie Crook also looks close to hypothermia in his scenes as Orell, a Wildling. The 41-year-old, best known as Gareth in T he Office and Ragetti in the Pirates Of The Caribbean franchise, said: ‘It’s the most physical job I’ve ever done. Just exhausting. I had to learn how to climb ice walls and do combat training.’

Chilly: Ciaran Hinds filming in Iceland, left, and Emmanuel as slave Missandei, right

NATHALIE EMMANUEL: Unless you watch Hollyoaks, you may not recognise the 24-year-old, who played Sasha Valentine in the soap but she is now set for international stardom after signing up to play Missandei, a slave. She gushed ‘I can’t actually articulate the true extent of my excitement.’

Sex, sex and more sex

Game Of Thrones has become as renowned for its raunchy sex scenes as it has for its violence. Here are some of the more outrageous moments . . .

Brotherly love: Lena Headey is caught cheating on her husband King Robert with her brother Jaime

THE INCESTUOUS LOVE TRIANGLE:

Cersei Lannister, the Queen Regent of the Seven Kingdoms played by Lena Headey, is caught cheating on her husband King Robert with her brother Jaime. When ten-year-old Bran Stark (Isaac Hempstead-Wright) spots the incestuous pair in a derelict tower, Jaime pushes him out of the window, leaving him paralysed.

THE KING OF MASOCHISM: One of the most controversial sex scenes in the show involves King Joffrey. When his uncle Tyrion sends him two prostitutes for his birthday he forces one to beat the other with a spiked leather paddle. It took a day to shoot the scene, but luckily the actress used a soft prop to make it realistic – but not painful.

THE RANDY DWARF: Tyrion (Peter Dinklage) – the younger brother of Cersei and Jaime – is a dwarf who is nicknamed ‘Halfman’ or ‘The Imp’. He gets all the best lines, and is depraved as the rest of them. He has a fondness for drink and prostitutes who can perform mind-boggling acrobatic moves in the bedroom.

THE GAY LOVE TRIANGLE: When Lord Renly Baratheon, younger brother of King Robert, fails to produce an heir, his wife Queen Margaery (Natalie Dormer) suggests that they include his gay lover Ser Loras Tyrell (Finn Jones) in the bedroom.

Tyrion is a dwarf nicknamed 'Halfman' or 'The Imp'

You little devil: Peter Dinklage as pint-sized Tyrion, left, and, right, Natalie Dormer as Queen Margaery

KATCHING MY I

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Saturday, 30 March 2013

Game of Thrones: With dwarves, daggers and Diana Rigg, the smash-hit TV epic is back