Strictly Come Dancing's Abbey Clancy sparkles in show two and tops Natalie Gumede on the leaderboard- Daily Mirror
Maybe it was the sequins but Abbey Clancy joins Corrie's Natalie Gumede and shines bright in week 1
BBC
On Friday's show we had Galapagos turtles, tail-feathers, faux-cat burglary and more sequins than you can shake a license fee at. With our appetite whet from the previous night, the expectations were high for the rest of the contestants – but given that nobody's getting the boot this week, maybe now is not a bad time to step on your partners toes.
Brucey ditched the jazzy waistcoat last night, while Tess went for a sort of Purple Quality Street inspired toga thing. She must've been off to a sorority party after the show.
First up on stage was rugby player Ben Cohen – chunky sports players are as much of a staple on Strictly as last season's soap stars, but there's no mistaking that Ben doesn't look like the most graceful chap.
His cha cha with partner Kristina was good, but quite wooden. He got the right idea though as footwork was really good, very nimble and quick, and that's got to be the hardest bit. Len made an appropriately dull rugby analogy and Darcy complimented Ben on his rugby frame (er, what?).
Generally the judges gave good feedback, but Ben still only came away with 19/40. That seems a bit harsh, especially since Ben is now ranked lower than Mark Benton from Friday night.
Next up was Bond girl Fiona Fullerton, who should've had no problem with last night's tango. It's classy, it's feisty, I counted about seventeen pouts at throughout so that was good. Starting with Anton standing by a bar, complete with cocktail shaker, the dance could have done with Fiona muddling a White Russian while wafting a paper fan.
The judges thought Fiona did a good job using her skills as an actress to hide her utter lack of control, but I thought she was pretty good. Len made a great 'Double-O SEVEEEN' joke. Oh Len. Don't change.
She got 24/40. Good going.
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Strictly Come Dancing 2013
Third last night was 'Hairy Biker' Dave Myers, whose VT revealed he'd be dancing to Moves Like Jagger. It had the potential to be very Dad-At-A-Wedding, which would no doubt drive Craig to some kind of personal and professional meltdown. Brilliant!
What should've been a truly awful feat of dancing ended up being, well, awful. Dave's dance moves sent a chill through my bones the likes of which I haven't felt since I was convinced my house was haunted, and there was a shirt buttoned so low that I was, at one point, convinced the best course of action was to spike my own drink, to better dull my senses.
The funny thing was, though, Dave was really entertaining himself, and by the end of his performance I'd given my potent drink to the cat and started clapping along instead. He wasn't good, by any stretch of the imagination, but he really enjoyed it, and he was actually putting all his efforts in. The judges were harsh, and Dave took it quite badly (which makes me, and the slightly spaced-out cat, feel quite bad) but he got 16/40 overall. Dave, this was the week to disappoint mate.
After that debacle we had Rachel Riley from Countdown, who was hoping her performance didn't contain a 'T', an 'E' or a 'RRIBLE'. I thought Rachel performance was going to be good as she admitted in her VT that she was very sporty, and she's so good at maths. I was pretty sure she could use Pythagoras' Theorem to plot the exact angles she needs to waltz at.
Her waltz was smooth, suave, effortless and elegant, and it didn't at all feel stuffy. There were loads of little flourishes, and she made it look easy, when in fact it almost definitely isn't. One of the judges used the word 'spatualistic' which, while sounding slightly offensive, was actually intended to mean 'spatula-like', in reference to the way Rachel was using her hands. No need to call Ofcom folks.
She got 27/40 – the best score of the night at that point. Will she be able to do sassier dances in future weeks though? I don't know.
Next was Julian McDonald. He's a famous fashion designer, which is why I've never heard of him - I'm currently accessorising a Topman hoody with the unmistakable smear of last night's chicken jalfrezi, something I doubt is going to be a popular look for Autumn/Winter 2013.
Julian was likeable enough, but I got the impression he was hoping his sheer enthusiasm would make up for his lack of dancing ability. Him and partner Janette danced to Madonna's 'Vogue' like two mates at a wedding while declaring some kind of sequin-embellished open warfare. It's unintentionally aggressive, terrifying and rubbish. I really didn't like it. In fact, it was better than Mark Benton the day before. There, I said it.
There were quite a few remarks from the judges about Julian being a bit 'straighter' (They're talking about his legs! It's a double entendre!) and Julian went on about how he's always naturally been a bit bent (it's about his legs! It's a double entendre!) but after a while the banter between the judges and Julian feels a bit convoluted and I thought the joke died a painful death.
Anyway the scores were soon in and Julian got 20/40, which, compared to Ben's 19, seemed utterly ridiculous. Maybe the fumes from the glue used to stick all Julian's sequins onto his vest made everyone light-headed. That must be it.
Next up was my favourite female Dragon from Dragon's Den (after Hilary Devey). It was weird seeing Deborah Meaden smiling, given that she's often seen with the kind of insatiable glee you find when a wolf happens upon a group of badly-constructed straw houses, but she looked like she really wanted to throw herself into her time on Strictly and get a lot out of it.
As an aside, can you imagine how amazing Hilary Devey would have been on Strictly? Shoulder-pads so engorged they could hide every prop in the BBC's prop department. Anyway.
Deborah performed the tango, which seems apt, since she probably owns a 25% stake in the fizzy drink of the same name. She performed to ABBA's Money Money Money, her routine involving a Dragon's Den full of props, complete with executive chair and images of dragons projected on the walls. It was OK; considering it was week 1, she certainly had the right attitude. She looked like she was really trying to take criticisms on board, and her 24/40 seemed pretty spot on.
Next up was Patrick Robinson, aka Ash from Casualty. I don't watch Casualty, so I had zero preconceptions about his performance. When I found out he'd injured his leg, I have to admit I wasn't that excited.
But he was brilliant. He performed a jive in a retro ice cream parlour (to the tune of Bruno Mars' Runaway Baby) and considering he has a bad leg, doing a dance where you're flinging your limbs around like you're trying to dislodge a mouse from your sock must be really difficult. He has loads of energy, his precision was really good, but despite all that, he did it with a certain carelessness. One of my favourites of the night. But I'd be interested to see if he can do different types of dance as well.
I've been looking forward to Vanessa Feltz all week, and I thought performing to power-pop anthem That Don't Impress Me Much was a great choice. Her dancing wasn't exactly great – but Vanessa brilliantly brought Craig down several thousand notches when he dared to mock her.
'I've squeezed into a girdle, I'm having a hot flush, I'm a lady of a certain age,' and so on. Craig was speechless. About bloody time!
The judges were very kind here but I find it a bit irritating. There are a lot of people on the show who have been slated for their technique, or being stiff or out of time, but everyone was quite soft on Vanessa, with Darcey's comments saying this type of dance would never be her strong point. In all honesty, this should have been a feisty, fiery dance-off, when instead it was like a sober knees-up after a funeral at Downton. Anyway Vanessa got a 19/40.
Last on the night was model and telly presenter Abbey Clancy. On Radio 1 last week she said she found rehearsals tough, and seemed to have a difficult time telling her left and right apart in her VT (who said this show wasn't challenging?) but her fears were all for nothing.
Apart from the fact her waltz was graceful and elegant, while managing to look completely effortless, Abbey totally owned the part. There was loads of character and personality, which is what you need to do well on this show. Craig paid her a compliment and the judges all give her an 8, meaning Abbey got the highest mark overall with 32/40.
Personally, I prefer the upbeat dances on the show anyway, so I wasn't as doe-eyed over Abbey's waltz, but there's no doubt she's going to be one to watch this series.
HIGHLIGHTS OF THE NIGHT.
Len Goodman Remark Of The Night: 'That was sharp as a jam tart' – to Fiona.
Worst Prop Of The Week: 'Dragons Den studio', Deborah
Contestant With The Strongest Grip On Reality: ''Strutting around like a peacock with constipation', Dave Myers, describing himself in his VT
Most Ironic Song Choice: 'Moves Like Jagger', to describe Dave's performance.
What have your thoughts been this week? I think this year has a great line-up – there's not one contestant who seems to be here to be relentlessly mocked, with even the slightly tongue-in-cheek dancers showing that they're actually able to pull off a couple of tricks.
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