It's bye bye Beca as Kimberley is finally crowned Star Baker: Jim Shelley on the Great British Bake Off semi-final
By JIM SHELLEY
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For weeks now, even those of us who buy their bread from Greggs, have known that the three finalists in the final of this year’s Great British Bake Off would be Kimberley, Frances, and Ruby.
Raised by her grandmothers to cook a whopping Sunday lunch every dinnertime, Beca’s recipes were far too homely, substantial, and, well, Welsh, to have a chance of winning.
Sure enough, she duly departed with the injudicious choice of banoffee pie sealing her fate, not surprisingly perhaps as it was French Week. Calling it ‘Le banoffee pie’ wasn’t going to fool anyone.
Bye bye Beca: The Welsh star failed to make it through to the final of The Great British Bake Off as she was voted off the show on Tuesday night
Emotional: Beca struggled to control her tears after the decision was made
So in the absence of any real competition, in recent weeks most of Bake Off’s seven million viewers have had to entertain themselves as best they could.
They have done this mostly by watching for signs of suggestive body language, sexually-charged innuendo and blatant bias between judge Paul Hollywood and winsome contestant/ex-model Ruby Tandoh.
Studying the flirtatious female whiles, coquettish preening and doe-eyed flattery on display has made GBBO like a human version of Springwatch, and Ruby hasn’t been much better.
The course of True Love does not, however, run smoothly as we know, and this week relations seem to have turned... sour.
Winning: Kimberley finally earned Star Baker after a successful week
In particular, Paul and Ruby fell out over saffron. Well which couple hasn’t ?
‘Why have you used saffron in this ?’ Hollywood asked pointedly about Ruby’s almond praline Opera Cake.
‘I just like saffron,’ Ruby muttered, coyly, practically sucking her thumb.
Paul wouldn’t let it go though, provocatively baiting her like Othello with Desdemona, suggesting that the saffron was going to be fighting with the almond praline and the chocolate.
Starting off well: Frances' posh canapes went down so well that she even earned a handshake from Paul Hollywood himself
Ever the style queen: Frances' selection of canapes looked like a veritable garden of treats
What do you think? Kimberley waits anxiously for Paul and Mary Berry to pass judgement on her offerings
Delectable: Pea purée tarts were among the items that Kimberley presented to the judges
‘Well you’ll get a bit of it,’ she sulked.
When it came to the baking, she tipped some extra saffron into the syrup saying like wounded, spurned lover: ‘just to spite Paul. He thinks it’s not going to work.’
It was bordering on a saffron tantrum. But it worked. You could taste the saffron Hollywood said, although whether this was a good thing is anyone’s guess.
When he didn’t like what she called ‘the beetroot stuff’ (jelly) in her choux buns filled with goat’s cheese and caramelised red onion and walnut, she looked so sulky and so in need of sympathy, she almost gave a little sniffle and was reduced to tears during the Technical Challenge.
Welsh talent: Beca waits to see what Paul and Mary will make of her delights
Unusual combination: Beca opted to combine beetroot and salmon for her Choux puffs
What happened? Paul talks through with Ruby just where she went wrong
Not full enough: Paul wasn't impressed with how much space there was in Ruby's tartlets
No amount of favouritism could protect her entry, which was her worst of the series.
Charlotte Royale comprises slices of Swiss roll forming a dome round a Bavarois fruit custard filled with pink mousse and covered in weird transparent gloop. It looked like a giant brain from Doctor Who.
‘It’s got to be sheer perfection,’ said Mary, which was easier said than done.
Tough challenge: For the technical challenge the bakers were asked to make a Charlotte Royale
Perfectionist: Kimberley ensured that there were no holes that her custard mixture would seep through
‘The bakers can go wrong on any level with an opera cake,’ said Paul, enthusiastically.
Sure enough, Ruby forgot to line the bowl with cling film (schoolgirl error) and produced a bloody-looking, jammy mess that had ‘issues’ Hollywood said, as if it needed therapy.
‘The jam is one of the biggest issues, the height is the other one. I don’t quite know where all the mousse has gone.’
When it came to the judging, he said: ‘Last place is obviously this one,’ adding with a decided, gratuitous frisson, as if he knew it was hers, ‘Oh dear!’
Struggling: Ruby found herself in trouble after forgetting to line her bowl for the technical challenge
Calm down, dear: One of the presenters dabbed Ruby's nose with a tissue as the pressure got too much
Falling flat: Ruby failed to get the height needed for the technical challenge
The camera cut to Ruby, pouting defiantly like a girl from a Flake ad from the 1970s.
‘Why can I not work at the same pace as normal people?’ she asked the camera. ‘I feel like I’m going full speed and somehow I’m just behind everyone.’
Poor Ruby, so disadvantaged. She’s only got one denim jacket for a start.
She was lucky that Beca was her competition. If Beca had gone last week, as she should have, Frances might well have knocked Ruby out.
But Beca was not up to it, totally lacking in the subtlety or complexity required.
This week’s challenges began with Savoury canapes.
Judgement time: Paul and Mary decide which of he Charlotte Royales is the best
Varying degrees of happiness: Kimberley won the technical challenge, Frances came second and Ruby came last
‘There’s so much that can go wrong with canapes,’ said Mary. Mary, there’s so much that can go with everything. With life.
‘It’s about precision. They’ve got to all have the same size,’ said Paul, the choux Nazi.
For her Stilton and walnut macaroons, Beca just made a macaroon and then dumped a slab of Stilton in the middle.
She didn’t even ‘melt it with a blow torch’, with sounded like fun if nothing else.
Her Welsh rarebit tartlets were drowned by the taste of ale – which Paul seemed to think was a bad thing.
Final chance to impress: The four contestants were given the chance to create an Opera cake for the Showstopper
Disappointing: Ruby narrowly avoided being voted off the show after her poor opera cake
Mary Berry joined in saying her beetroot choux buns ‘weren’t that memorable’ – which seemed to be asking a lot of a beetroot choux bun.
It was Beca’s Opera Cake that clinched it though.
As soon as she said it was going to be based on flavours of banoffee pie, Mary did not look happy.
Beca was making banana and caramel buttercream, sandwiched by banana-flavoured sponge cakes and topped with ‘more bananas’. To make sure it had some texture, she added dried banana chips.
Beca was making banana and caramel buttercream, sandwiched by banana-flavoured sponge cakes and topped with ‘more bananas’. To make sure it had some texture, she added dried banana chips.
So the ingredients were basically bananas, a description that summed up the recipe.
It was at best a mediocre idea, but not if you didn’t like bananas.
Original twist: Ever unique, Frances decided to create a 'soap opera' cake
Finishing touches: Frances finished the top of her cake with a white chocolate ganache
‘Good luck Beca !’ cheered Paul, meaning ‘good bye.’
‘She’s using banana essence,’ said Mary, meaning ‘how common’. ‘Are those layers going to have style and class?’ – a rhetorical question if ever there was one.
When they tasted it, amazingly Hollywood said: ‘it’s not banana. It’s artificial banana and it’s a gravelly banana.’
This did not sound good.
‘I wondered how you’d get that banana coming through,’ agreed Mary. ‘You wouldn’t really know there’s banana in there.’
This was quite an achievement, considering the ingredients.
Winning design: Kimberley pulled out all the stops to impress with her offering
Decorative delight: But while Kimberley's cake looked impressive, the judges said it tasted bitter
As for this week’s Star Baker, Kimberley’s croutons sounded incredible: Pea and Parma ham puree short crust tarts, elongated choux buns filled with a crab and wasabi mayonnaise and Chinese chicken steamed buns. There were some pickled lotus fruit as decorations in there somewhere too.
They looked immaculate and apparently they tasted good too, which is always a bonus.
Frances matched her though with choux pastry tomatoes filled with smoked trout pate, and tiny cauliflowers made from scones topped with cheese and cauliflower puree which must have been either delicious or like baby food.
Her spicy carrot canopes were even carrot shaped and filled with humus - ‘because you normally have carrot sticks and humus.’
Bananas all the way: Beca went slightly overboard with her banoffee flavoured opera cake
Too much: Paul and Mary insisted the finished product was too sweet
Hollywood couldn’t help smirking because there is nothing he enjoys more than telling Frances she has favoured ‘style over substance’.
When he tasted them though, he offered her his hand - not in marriage although Frances was so happy, she probably would have accepted.
The looks of disgust from Beca and poor Kimberley who probably wondered what she had to do to win Star Baker were something to behold.
Frances messed up on the Showstopper Challenge however, using white chocolate for her Opera Cake and (horror of horrors) lavender.
I did it! Ruby was reduced to tears when she found out she had been saved for another week
Making her exit: Beca gets a hug from Paul after she's voted off
Paul worried the lavender was going to ‘overwhelm everything’, which must be a first.
In fact, it didn’t taste of very much at all but then Kimberley’s Lime and Passion Fruit tasted of dark chocolate. Kimberley’s ganache had less shine than Frances’s – as it were.
Kimberley must have won Star Baker for her Charlotte Royale brain, which did look incredible although not that appetising. It was about time.
And so we await next week’s final.
Ruby will have to hope she and Paul are getting on better and that this week’s squabbling was all part of the dance, because frankly, she isn’t in same league as Kimberley and Frances.
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2461731/Its-bye-bye-Beca-Kimberley-finally-crowned-Star-Baker-Great-British-Bake-Off-semi-final.html#ixzz2hpaCUd27
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